Ten Years
by Deathangel125
Summary: Ten years after the war is over, Duo has to decide whether or not to keep up his end of an agreement.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me, duh. I'm sure everyone is already aware, but it has to be said anyway.

Warnings: Yaoi abounds. If you don't know what it means, go away and read something else.

Pairings: 3x2 main, 1x5, brief mention of 4+OC

Beta provided by TanithNight

AN: I have a webpage, sorta. Take a peek at it and tell me what you think. I'll eventually get all my stories posted there, along with pics, but right now there are one-shots and some multi-parts. If you want to see, go to . Is there anyone that can draw? I would love to have some pics of my fave couple, Trowa and Duo, to put on my site, but there really aren't that many on the web. Somebody draw me something and send it to me!

TEN YEARS – PART 1

Leaning back on his elbows, Duo stretched his legs out in front of him, tilting his head back to stare at the starry sky. The night was clear, but cool; a slight breeze blowing his bangs from his face. It was the perfect night for socializing with others, or joining any of the multiple parties across the streets of the nearby city, but he felt a need to be alone.

Only days before the war had finally ended. The peace he had fought for almost his entire life had arrived and he had no idea what to do next. He was at a crossroad and didn't know what direction to take. There were options, of course, and he merely needed to choose one to have a purpose, but he wasn't certain he really wanted to follow the courses that had been mapped out for him.

There was an open invitation to return to the colonies and work with Hilde in the salvage yard, but it appealed to him as much as Relena's offer to stay at her family home until he could decide where to go, which was not appealing at all. Even Quatre's offer of letting him stay at one of the Winner residences left a bitter taste in the back of his throat.

Hearing laughter, he sat up and edged toward the end of the roof he sat on, the best place he had discovered for when he wanted to be alone. Down below, Heero looked baffled as two small dogs ran around his feet, jumping up on his legs and barking. Quatre was sitting on the ground not far away, a dog licking his face, the source of the laughter Duo had heard. The dogs seemed to belong to a young woman Relena was talking to, not even attempting to control the furry beasts.

Even from a distance Duo could see the sudden anguish on Heero's features as he backed up several steps and understood the source for the agonized expression. Ready to put a stop to the dogs' actions, Duo sucked in a deep breath to yell, swallowing it when Wufei beat him to it.

"Woman, will you control your dogs? Not everyone likes the things."

Although Duo couldn't hear the conversation from his position, he watched as the girl and Relena quickly gathered the dogs and went inside, followed by Quatre. He smiled as Wufei went to Heero's side and spoke quickly, eventually coaxing a strained smile from the messy-haired teen.

"They could be good together," a soft voice stated from behind him.

Scooting back from the ledge, Duo glanced over his shoulder at Trowa, sitting on the windowsill he had earlier used to get to the roof. Hiding his irritation at being found, he smiled, "If Heero ever figures out how Wufei feels, you mean."

"You don't believe he's aware of it already?"

"He's not even sure how he feels about things, man. Heero's always been so isolated from other people he's just beginning to learn how to interact with them."

When Trowa came out onto the roof Duo raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. He didn't know the tall teen well, but it was obvious Trowa had something to say. "You and Heero get along very well."

Turning, Duo tried to read Trowa's expression but found it impossible. Shrugging, he leaned back again, resting his head on his hands behind him. "We get along okay, I guess. What's your point?"

"I was wondering why you're up here instead of down there in Wufei's place. I know you like boys instead of girls."

"Never bothered to hide that from anybody, not that I remember. Being gay is pretty much standard in this line of work, right? Spend a lot more time with guys than girls," Duo stated conversationally. "Heero's not my type."

Trowa made a sound that could have been amusement, confusion, or surprise. "What is your type?"

Watching a comet streak across the sky Duo idly wondered if it was part of a mobile suit entering the atmosphere. "Somebody that doesn't pull a gun on me," he snickered after a moment. Seeing the startled expression on his companion's face he spoke, "Yes, he's pulled a gun on me before, more than once, but not because I tried to hump him or anything like that."

"And you lived through that experience?"

"Yep. We came to an agreement of sorts. While rooming together he wouldn't try to shoot me and I wouldn't super-glue his dick to his leg while he was sleeping; worked out pretty well."

After that Trowa fell silent, but made no move to leave. It didn't take long for Duo's eyes to leave the sky so he could look at the other teen, sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees. From his position, Duo could see Trowa's profile and was amazed at how attractive the other boy was, something he had noticed before.

"Why are you staring at me?" Trowa asked softly, making Duo jump guiltily.

"Just wondering how you get your hair to stay like that." It hadn't been what he was thinking, but he had wondered before so it couldn't count as a lie. There was no way in hell he was going to admit where his mind had actually been going.

Trowa turned a little, green eyes lingering on Duo before he looked up at his own hair. "It just does," he shrugged as if he had never thought of it before. "How do you always keep your hair so neat?"

"Lots of work; you should see me when I sleep with it down. It's scarier than Une's bad side."

"Is that an invitation?"

Only years of practice kept Duo from showing how shocked he was at the soft question. Taking it as a joke, he laughed, "Like I said, I prefer people that aren't going to pull a gun on me." To keep Trowa from saying anything else, he asked quickly, "Is there a reason you came to find me?"

Trowa stared for a long moment, his face unreadable. He finally looked away, giving Duo a chance to catch his breath, which seemed lodged in his throat. "Relena has invited all of us to watch the fireworks from the top of the Peace Tower."

"It's not even finished yet," commented Duo, attempting to get the strange question out of his mind with no success.

"It isn't completed, but she has gotten permission to host a small celebration there, and has asked if we would all like to accompany her."

Duo had no desire to watch the New Year's Eve fireworks with anyone, but found himself asking, "You gonna go?"

When Trowa glanced back a small smile played across his lips, "I've never seen fireworks on Earth. They're supposed to be beautiful."

"I've never seen fireworks anywhere; not in person." Duo frowned as the words came out of his mouth, realizing he had already made his choice. "Hell, I guess I'll go and see what all the fuss is about. When are they leaving?"

"An hour or so."

Already committed to going, Duo figured he could always find a way to get away from everyone. Hiding had always been one of his best skills. "They gonna have food?"

"I believe so."

"Hopefully it won't be any of that fancy gourmet shit Relena seems to like so much. Give me a good ol' burger and fries and I'll be happy."

With a soft laugh, Trowa stood and went inside, leaving Duo alone again. For a while he tried to contemplate what he was going to do, eventually giving up after his brain continued to turn to the tall teen that had sought him out and the soft question that had stunned Duo so badly.

It wasn't as if he had never wondered what it would be like to sleep with Trowa, but it had always been an abstract thought, not a serious one. Now he wasn't able to get it out of his head, no matter how hard he tried, but even he had some requirements for a partner. The main one being that he had to know the person he was planning to have sex with.

He knew next to nothing about Trowa. That should have been the end of it. Why he couldn't stop thinking about it he didn't understand, but he was suddenly bothered that he didn't know more about the pilot of Heavyarms. Abruptly realizing he was turning the same questions over and over in his mind had him cursing. Sitting up, he looked to the sky again, but found no answers there. Discovering how quiet it was had him cursing again, more fervently this time, as he figured out after Trowa left he had begun to feel lonely.

Resigned to sorting out his future the next day, he went inside and followed the sound of voices to his friends.

Leaning out of the window frame, Duo studied the city around the tower. For almost an hour he had smiled and mingled with the crowd that had joined the 'small' party, but had needed a break from talking to people he had never met and most likely would never meet again.

To make matters worse he had felt eyes on him the entire time. Unable to locate the source, he had grown edgier with every passing second; his nerves so bad he had jumped once when Heero began to speak to him suddenly. After reassuring his friend he was fine, and avoiding the angry glare Wufei had been giving him, he had finally escaped, fleeing to the unfinished level below the one where the party goers remained.

Those that didn't know him well believed he was a social animal, always needing a crowd to feel comfortable. In truth, he was a solitary creature, both out of necessity and circumstance. Long before he had joined the other Gundams he had been on his own, a situation that had changed only a few times in his life and those times had passed quickly. Being with the Sweepers was different in his mind, he had known all of them for a number of years and they were like family. Gatherings like this one, however, made him highly self-conscious and afraid he would do or say something inappropriate.

Feeling eyes on him again he tensed for only an instant, relaxing as he realized he could identify the other person by scent alone, something he had never been able to do with anyone else. He didn't turn, waiting to see what his uninvited companion would say this time.

"You have a talent for finding strange places to be alone."

"Alone is the operative word here, Trowa," he replied, keeping his eyes firmly on the lights of the city that spread out before him.

"You disappeared. I wanted to find out where you had gone."

"I can only take so much of people like those snobs before I want to shove my fingers into my own eyeballs."

"You don't like the wealthy, diplomatic type, I assume. I was curious why you didn't talk to the man that was flirting with you for so long."

"What man?"

"Shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes, white suit, about twenty or so. He seemed disappointed when you walked away."

Duo finally turned, raising his brows when he saw Trowa was only a few feet away. "How do you know who I talked to and for how long?"

"You know how."

"You were the one watching me," he stated, baffled when Trowa nodded his head in confirmation. "Why?"

"Is it so difficult for you to understand why I was watching you?"

Shaking his head, Duo refused to consider the implications. Turning his back on Trowa he stated softly, "You better get back."

"Come with me. The fireworks will begin soon. You'll be missed."

"Nah. Nobody'll look for me. Quatre is sure to be looking for you by now, though."

"He worries about me."

The idea was so ludicrous Duo turned back to face Trowa, laughing. "That ain't why, man. He wants you bad. You'd be smart to snag something like that. Quatre's rich and hot; a good combo."

"So Quatre's your type?"

Not daring to meet the green eyes he knew were focused on him, Duo let his gaze wander the unfinished space. "Too innocent," he said shortly in response.

"What about Wufei?"

"Wufei'd be more likely to shove a sword up my ass if I was stupid enough to even try."

"What about me? I wouldn't try to shoot you, or hurt you, and I'm not innocent."

Desire stronger than he had ever experienced grabbed Duo by the throat. "NO."

"What's wrong with me?"

The low query forced his eyes to Trowa's. Swallowing to get past the lump in his throat, he croaked, "Nothing's wrong with you. I don't know you."

"You could."

"Not that way," he ground out, frustrated and confused by the sudden, and relentless, attempt to get him into bed. "I don't know anything about you. I don't even know why you started this all of a sudden. The very idea of us together makes no sense."

"Why not?" Trowa's voice was as calm as Duo's was bewildered.

"It just doesn't. Damn, man. I don't jump into bed with everybody if that's what you think. I have to actually know them first, and that ain't likely to happen between us."

This time it was Trowa that frowned, "We can't take time to know each other? You're leaving soon?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I've been thinking it over but haven't decided," he admitted, tilting his head as Trowa's face cleared. "Do you know what you're gonna do now that the war's over?"

"I've been asked to travel with the circus for a while. After that I don't know."

The swift pain of loss was almost staggering. "When do you leave?"

"I leave the day after tomorrow, if I leave when they do. I could stay for a while longer."

Understanding what Trowa was suggesting, Duo shook his head slowly, "It's not enough time."

"You sound sorry about that."

Looking away, Duo stuck his hands in his pockets, reassuring himself it was the suit he wore making him uncomfortable and not the idea of Trowa leaving. "I think I might be," he admitted softly.

"How about a compromise?" Trowa suggested.

Immediately intrigued, Duo eyed the other teen warily, "What kind of compromise?"

Trowa remained silent for a moment, then spoke slowly, "If you still feel the same way in ten years, meet me here." Duo frowned, prompting further explanation. "If you're still sorry in ten years; if you regret not taking this opportunity and if you feel you know enough about me, meet me here in ten years, on this level of the tower."

With a smirk, Duo had to ask, "What if you change your mind by then?"

"I've waited this long. I can wait longer." As Duo frowned, Trowa let out a sigh. "I'll rephrase. If you decide you want me, and if I still feel the same way, we'll meet here. Right here, just before midnight on New Year's Eve."

It was highly unlikely they would even speak during the next ten years or that either of them would remember this deal for half of that, so Duo felt safe in agreeing. "Sure, why not?"

Trowa held out a hand and he grasped it, intending to seal the deal with a shake. He was startled by the sudden jerk on his hand, the move bringing his body in contact with the other teen's. Looking up, he questioned, "Why'd you do that?"

"A handshake is a good way to finalize a deal, but it's almost midnight. This seems more appropriate." So saying, Trowa lowered his head and fused their lips together.

Duo didn't even have the will to put up a fight, sliding into the kiss with a need that frightened him. Distantly he could hear the symphony of voices from the upper level counting down the seconds, but didn't consider breaking the contact. As a chorus of cheers filled the air, he wound his free arm around the lean waist, feeling fingers tangle in his hair as their tongues twined around each other. When they finally separated, Trowa smile at him, somewhat sadly, "That was a good way to start a new year. It's going to be hard to wait ten more years to feel you against me again."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers and warnings in first part.

TEN YEARS – PART 2

9 years, 11 months later

Duo barely noticed the phone ringing, not bothering to look up from the essay he was trying to read. Seeing movement from the corner of his eye, he tossed the paper to his desk and rubbed tired eyes. "I don't see how some of these people managed to graduate high school. How they got into college is a mystery."

Heero smiled at the complaint, one Duo expressed often. "They're trying to test you to see if you're smart enough to be a professor," he replied, getting a weary shake of the head.

Hoping all the essays weren't as bad as the one he was attempting to read, Duo turned in his chair to fully face his roommate. "I've been their teacher for months. I'm pretty sure this group is full of morons that thought Universe History was going to be an easy class. I blame it on my predecessor," he added, speaking of the man whose place he had taken, one with a reputation of giving A's if the students merely showed up to class. "What's up?" he asked, knowing Heero wouldn't interrupt him while he was working without a reason.

"Coby's on the phone."

"Hell, I didn't forget something again, did I?" Duo asked warily.

"Not that I know of, but he doesn't look happy."

"Great," he mumbled as Heero left the small office. Never one to put off unpleasant things, he jabbed the button to take the call. "Hi, Coby. How's it going?"

Coby Holsten was a man used to getting his way by using a combination of charm, wealth, power and good looks. At first, Duo had been captivated by the man, but after months of dating he found Coby more demanding and boring than he wanted to deal with. With his dark brown hair carefully styled, Coby appeared to be getting ready to go out, or had just gotten in. Either way, Duo found he didn't really care.

Eyes almost as dark as Coby's hair narrowed for a minute, "I know you, don't I? Oh, yes, I remember now. You sat across from me at dinner a few weeks ago, right?"

"Very funny," Duo replied to the sarcasm, not the least bit amused. He had hoped that particular dinner would be the last he was forced to sit through. "I've been busy."

"Too busy to go out to dinner for three weeks? Really, Duo, all work and no play and all that."

The cultured tone that had once seemed charming now grated. "It's been a rough few weeks. Finals are coming up."

Coby waved the notion away with one manicured hand, "Surely you have time to go out tonight? A group of our friends are going to a get-together over at Jean's house. You remember Jean, right?"

"How could I ever forget?" Duo drawled, recalling how the busty blonde had tried to seduce him into a threesome with her and Coby. Coby had been open to the idea, Duo had not. "I can't tonight. I still have twenty-three essays to grade for class on Monday." He didn't bother to remind Coby those people were not his friends, nor would they ever be.

"Duo, you're being ridiculous." When Duo merely stared at the screen, Coby seemed to give up. "Oh, all right. Free up some time for me soon. We need to discuss our plans for New Year's Eve. You know I throw a party every year."

Duo didn't know and had no intention of going. Rather than say that, he hedged, "I'll see what I can do, but I can't make any promises."

"Call me soon, then. Ta ta!"

Poking the button to end the call, Duo groaned and rubbed his face with both hands. As soon as he opened his eyes, a glass full of amber liquid was shoved in front of his face. "Thank the gods," he took the glass and toasted Heero, "a man that realizes I'd rather drink," he paused and took an experimental sip, then sighed, "whisky from a …is this a jelly jar?"

"I think so."

"Whisky from a jelly jar instead of wine or champagne from a cheesy little flute." Playing the role, he tilted his face to Heero's, batting his lashes. "Pledge yourself to me and we shall run away together, never to be harassed by sissy candy-asses ever again."

Heero perched on the edge of Duo's desk, sipping his own drink from another jar, this one bearing a picture of the eternally infamous Bugs Bunny. "It could be fun, but I'm afraid Wufei would hunt us down and kill us both, slowly and painfully."

"He's not a sissy, or a candy-ass," Duo lamented, then sighed dramatically. "Sucks for me; good for you, though. That non-sissy loves you."

It was still a pleasure to see Heero's face soften as thought of his lover. Although it had taken almost seven years for Wufei to convince Heero they could be good together, the dedication between the couple had only grown over the past three years. Duo was close enough to both men to be tremendously happy for them, but that didn't stop the envy that snaked its way around his heart at times, wondering if he would ever be that happy with someone.

"What did Coby want?"

"Same shit, different day." Duo rolled his eyes and stood to stretch. Flopping back into the chair, he imitated the annoying man's voice almost perfectly, "Oh, Duo, you never have time for me. All you do is work and leave me all alone to spend my poor trust fund on people I'm either too blind or too dumb to see that you hate and finding ways to make us all one big happy family."

Heero laughed at the impression, shaking his head. "Let me guess. He wanted to drop what you were doing and spend an evening with his friends – whom you can't stand. How close am I?"

"The only thing you missed is that Jean is having a party and he wanted me to go," Duo snorted disdainfully, knocking back half his glass with one gulp, "Yeah, right."

"Jean. Wasn't she the one that wanted to keep you as her own personal sex slave?"

"Nope, that was Chanel. Jean's the one that tried to lock me in a closet."

"The threesome?"

"Got it in one," Duo made a gun with his fingers and aimed it at Heero. "Why do the rich see me as a boy-toy?" he asked, wondering if his friend had a good answer.

"Because you're so pretty?" The prussian-eyed man teased, grinning as Duo groaned. "I meant because you're so smart. That's it, definitely."

"You have a twisted since of humor, dude. I'm so proud." Duo sat up straight, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye. "It warms my lonely little heart to know I created a superb smart-ass."

Laughing heartily, Heero held up his glass in a toast, "Here's to the best teacher in the world," he intoned seriously, blue eyes glowing with mirth. "May he bestow his bullshit wisdom of the wise-ass ways to younger generations so they, too, may piss off their friends, acquaintances, and co-workers alike."

Fighting the burble of laughter that wanted to come out, Duo barely managed to keep a straight face as he lifted his own glass in acknowledgement of the pledge. "Here, here. Couldn't have said it better myself."

One look at each other was all it took for the almost hysterical laughter to come spilling out. Duo nearly splashed his drink all over the papers he needed to grade as he tried to set it down, saved only by quick reflexes. Leaning back, he wiped tears from his eyes. "Man, I needed that."

"When are you going to get rid of that overly-gelled tight-ass and look for someone more interesting than a stamp?"

"Who says I haven't tried? He's like a parasite of some kind, there to suck the fun out of any free time I manage to find."

"You need to be firm, and blunt. I don't think anything less will work," commented Heero, his brow creased in thought.

"You can't be more blunt than telling someone you aren't interested in going out anymore, not even as friends." With a huff, Duo finished his whisky in a few quick swallows, gasping as the liquid burned down his throat. "He had the nerve to ask me when we could have sex not even three minutes after I told him that."

"What did you say to that?'

"That I would prefer to fuck a turnip."

Heero stared at him for a moment, "Did you really say that?"

Aware of how pathetic it sounded, Duo nodded. "Coby has a selective memory, or his is defective, because he called the next day like nothing had changed. I did my best to explain I had no intention of ever sleeping with him. Eventually I said I'd sleep with Jean before considering him as a sexual partner, and he asked if he could watch."

Seeing Heero staring into his own empty glass with a thoughtful expression, Duo waited for whatever his roommate had to say. "How long did you go out with Coby?"

"Four very long and dull months, that he seems to want to stretch to five."

"Four months and you never considered sleeping with him? Not once?'

Knowing where this was leading, Duo searched his desk for his glasses, mumbling thanks when Heero handed them to him. "Nope, didn't even think about it until he brought it up."

"Don't you find that strange, Duo?"

"Not really." Duo grabbed the stack of essays and shuffled them, rearranging them so he would read the worst students first.

Expecting Heero to lecture him on the need for physical contact, he lined up his thoughts to counter any arguments the other man had. His thoughts scattered completely when Heero spoke, "How many people have you slept with in the last ten years?"

"I don't know," he evaded. "I don't keep count."

"Two. Two people in ten years and both of those you dated for almost a year before sleeping with them."

In an attempt to play it off, Duo shrugged, "If I'd known you were so interested in my sex life I would have invited you to watch, or participate." A good way to get Heero to leave him alone was to embarrass him to death.

Heero's face turned red, but he pushed on regardless. "I just think it's strange you haven't wanted anyone else in ten years. Not even Wufei and I waited for long after we…figured things out."

"That's different. You two have known each other for years." Defensively, Duo hunched his shoulders, twirling his glasses in his fingers by the stem, "I didn't say I didn't want anyone else during that time, Heero." Needing to change the subject, he reached for the first excuse he could think of. "I need to grade these papers, okay? It's gonna be a headache until I'm done."

It was obvious Heero wanted to continue the conversation, but he let it go. Duo wasn't foolish enough to believe he had heard the last of this particular topic. Heero was an outstanding strategist, an ability that made him valuable to the Preventers. While most people thought a step or two ahead, Heero usually thought four or five. Duo assumed there would be a plan behind planting the seeds in his mind.

Waiting for Heero to leave, Duo held his breath, letting it out in a whoosh as Heero asked abruptly, "Have you talked to Trowa yet?"

Glancing at the small daily calendar on his desk, Duo frowned, "He's not supposed to be back until the eighth."

"You're running a week behind, again," Heero said with enjoyment as he tore off the sheets to reveal it was the ninth, not the second as Duo had believed. "I don't know how you can be such a brilliant teacher when you can't keep up with anything."

"I plan my classes by the day, not the week," he explained absently, his mind more on the date. Not bothering to hide his concern, he studied Heero, "They okay?"

"There was some trouble, but nothing they couldn't take care of. They got back late last night. Wufei's coming by later tonight, after he gets some rest."

"I'll make myself scarce for a few hours."

"Duo, it's your house. You don't need to leave," Heero insisted, but the words didn't hold much argument.

Understanding, Duo peered at his friend, "It's hard to have a romantic homecoming if you have to worry about your roommate walking through the house. It's no big deal. How much longer do I have before I need to start looking for a new roommate?"

Heero gaped for a few seconds, making Duo chuckle. Shaking his head, the messy-haired man sighed, "How did you know? We've been talking about it, but haven't made any definite plans yet."

"I knew because it's easy to see how you feel about each other, Heero. You don't think I see the way you watch the clock when he's supposed to be coming, or the way you jump for the phone as soon as it rings? It's only natural to want to be together as much as possible when he's home. Living here doesn't make sense for you anymore, just like it doesn't make sense for Wufei to live in a Preventer's apartment."

"I don't want to leave you here alone."

"I've never minded being alone. I'll have a hell of a time trying to remember where I put all my shit without you reminding me, but I'll adjust."

"What about the bills? I hate leaving you stuck with all of them."

Duo snorted, "I haven't needed help paying bills for a long time and you know it. I'll be fine as long as you'll be happy." Sometimes it was hard to believe he made more as a professor than Wufei, Heero, or Trowa did as Preventer agents, and it was something he rarely brought up.

"I always forget that," Heero admitted, finally leaving the room.

Duo diligently fought his way through three more essays before his mind began to wander. Knowing he still had two nights to finish reading the rest he got up from the desk and walked out of the room, cursing as he ran into the wall. The low chuckle from down the hall had him spinning, only to topple over when he misjudged the distance between him and the small table in the hallway.

Strong arms wound around him, keeping him from hitting the floor. He allowed the contact for only a moment, stepping away as soon as he was solidly on his feet, attempting to control the pounding of his heart. "You'd think after four years I'd start remembering to take these things off before I run into something," he muttered, snatching the glasses off his face as he blushed.

Trowa smiled back, wreaking havoc on Duo's pulse, "I like the way you look in them."

"I look like a librarian," he snorted, able to be amused at himself and the reaction he had every time he saw the tall man. "Just stick me in a room of books and I'll fade into the background."

"You'll always stand out, in my opinion," Trowa noted, tapping the glasses Duo twirled in his fingers. "They make you look exactly like what you are. An attractive man that is highly intelligent."

Flustered by the compliment, Duo shoved his free hand in his pocket, "I hate having to wear them, but I can't stand contacts."

"Bumping into an occasional wall is better than the alternative, Duo. Your headaches don't come as often as they used to, and they aren't as painful as they used to be." Trowa smiled again before he removed his hand, one finger trailing lightly on Duo's hand, making him suppress a tremble. "Where were you going before the wall got in your way?"

Rolling his eyes and hiding the desire he felt every time he saw his friend, Duo turned toward his own room to change clothes. He couldn't go out in public wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt with multiple tears in it. "I promised Heero I'd scram for a few hours so he could have some private time with Wufei."

"You do realize Wufei has an apartment all to himself at the base?"

Reaching his room, Duo yanked his shirt over his head, tossing it into the basket into the corner. "Yep, just like I realize those walls are paper thin. You can probably tell me what your neighbor cooked for dinner tonight by smelling it through the wall."

"I think it was spaghetti," Trowa shrugged when Duo glanced at him. "I see your point."

Stepping into his closet, Duo chose a red t-shirt and slipped it on. Crouching down, he located the pants he was searching for, old and worn but comfortable, the denim so worn in some places it was as soft as suede. "I've walked through your building before, man. Either some of those agents were getting down and dirty or they watch some really weird shit on TV. I don't think Wufei or Heero would appreciate their co-workers being able to eavesdrop on their sex life."

Bending over to pull the pants up, he happened to glance into the mirror in front of him, freezing when he discovered Trowa's eyes fixed on him. Sure he was imagining things, he blinked, only to see the other man was looking away. Clearing his throat, he finished getting dressed then sat on his bed, wishing he didn't want so badly for Trowa to look at him with desire in the green eyes. "I'm guessing since you're here, Wufei is too?"

It took a moment before Trowa looked back at him, eyes unreadable. "Yeah. I caught a ride with him. I wanted to…apologize for not calling you last night when we got back."

The hesitation had been odd but Duo assumed Trowa was still tired from the three week assignment. "It's not like you have to check in with me, Trowa. You don't owe me an apology."

"You don't worry about me?"

The teasing tone had Duo smiling, even as the words struck a nerve. "You know I do. You're my friend."

If Duo hadn't been watching the tall man, he would have missed how the easy smile faltered for an instant before firming again. "All we were doing was accompanying an ambassador on her vacation with her family; nothing dangerous about that."

Pulling on his beat-up tennis shoes, Duo had to smile at the dismissive words. "Heero said you had some trouble."

Trowa's smile immediately disappeared, his eyes narrowing. "Christ, do you have to tell each other everything? I didn't want you to worry for no reason. He should have kept his mouth shut."

Stunned by the outburst, Duo aimed his gaze at his shoes. Not understanding why Trowa was mad, he swallowed hard to force back a sob as his eyes welled with tears of hurt. Knowing if he looked at the other man he might actually cry, he kept his head down as he stood. Grabbing a notebook from his table, he picked up a pen, "I'm not a total idiot, Trowa. I know what you do is dangerous and I worry whether you want me to or not. From now on I'll do my best not to bother you with my pesky little concerns anymore," he said softly before fleeing the room.

Going out the front door, he ignored the worried call from Heero, running as soon as he hit the sidewalk, the notebook tucked under his arm like a football. He didn't know how long he ran, or how far, and couldn't find it in himself to care until he stopped, his breath coming out in uneven gasps, mingling with sobs that tore from his throat.

Taking in his surroundings, he found himself in a small park near the university he worked at. He began walking toward the small coffee shop on the other side of the park until he realized he had left the house without even getting his wallet. "Probably for the best," he muttered, not up to being around people for the moment.

Familiar with the area, it didn't take him long to find an unoccupied bench, secluded from the many paths with traffic on them this late in the evening. Refusing to think about the incident that had him escaping his own room, he put his feet on the bench and opened the book, propping it on his knees and beginning the tedious task of creating daily lesson plans.

When he found himself writing Trowa's name for the third time like a lovesick schoolgirl, he sighed, wishing he knew what had prompted the tall man's anger. Assuming Trowa didn't want him to worry anymore, he vowed to hide his feelings better so he wouldn't make his friend uncomfortable. The idea was a good one, and had another upside to it, if Trowa didn't see he was worried he wouldn't realize how Duo really felt.

The burning need he felt for Trowa had started so long ago, probably even before the single kiss they had shared atop the Peace Tower on New Year's so many years before. No one had ever been able to evoke the emotions Trowa had pulled from him for those few brief seconds, not before or since. At the time Duo hadn't understood what he was feeling, but had been aware of the pain he had felt watching Trowa leave two days later from his perch on the top of the roof. He still didn't know which had hurt more – that Trowa had left or that he had done so without saying goodbye.

Duo had done the only thing he could at the time and shoved down the ache so far inside of himself he could ignore it for days at a time, surprising everyone when he had decided to go to school instead of taking a job right away like the others had. For six months, Trowa had been the first thing on his mind in the morning, and the last thing he thought of before he fell asleep. The rest of the time he threw himself into his education in an attempt to forget that person, that night, and that kiss.

Over time, he had thought of Trowa less and less and began dating eventually. The two people he had slept with had left him feeling empty inside and he had ended both relationships shortly after. He still dated but hadn't considered sleeping with anyone else, wary of that emptiness. Mostly he had filled his waking hours learning, attempting to absorb any information he could.

For three years he had thrown himself into his studies, not needing to work because of the money the government had given all the Gundam pilots, their way of saying thanks. It hadn't taken long for Duo to focus his energies on attaining his goal of becoming a teacher, becoming the youngest student at Chaplain University to graduate with an associate's degree at the age of eighteen because of the multiple classes he had taken in a semester, allowed only after an IQ test had been conducted and proved he was practically a genius.

The day after receiving his diploma Duo had been at home, plotting the next leg of his classes so he could get his bachelor's degree, when Heero had come home and said two words that had turned his life upside down. "Trowa's back."

Unable to comprehend the meaning of the words, Duo had stared at his then-new roommate. Finally, he managed to force out a single question past the pain in his throat, "What do you mean he's back?"

"He came in today and spent half the morning in Une's office. It seems he's come back to stay. He's an agent now, as of nine o'clock this morning. He's been partnered with Wufei," Heero had crossed his arms and scowled at his feet. "I'll apply for a new apartment tomorrow."

"What the hell for?"

"You told me what happened at the Tower, remember? I thought you would want him here so you could work things out."

To Duo, the idea was insane. "There's nothing to work out." When Heero started to argue, Duo cut him off. "There's nothing to work out, man. There never was."

"Trowa wouldn't have said those things if he didn't mean them," insisted Heero, though Duo was far from convinced.

He had rolled his eyes at his friend's naiveté. "He wanted to sleep with me, Heero. That's it. If there had been more to it he would have said something before leaving. End of story."

At the time, Duo had wished desperately that had been the end of the story for him. He had wasted too much time thinking of the tall man and had no intention of inviting that pain again. His hopes had been dashed one night while he was studying and someone knocked on the door. Thinking Heero had locked himself out of the house, Duo had opened the door and discovered Trowa on the other side, looking even better than he had as a teen. Before he could speak, the other man did, causing a shiver to run up Duo's spine at the low tone that he had to hide. "Hello, Duo. I know this is a surprise, but I wanted to see you."

The old pain welled up again, helping him keep his eyes cool and his tone dismissive, "I'm studying."

"Quatre's been keeping me up to date on your progress. So you're going to be a teacher?"

Lifting his brows, Duo tried not to notice how nervous the tall man seemed, "That's the plan. Was there something you wanted, Trowa? I have a lot of tests this week and Heero will be home soon."

Trowa had visibly jerked at the news. "Heero lives here? I thought he had an apartment at the Preventer's complex?"

"He did until about four months ago; he moved in here so someone else could have the space he wasn't really using."

"Oh. Well, I wanted to explain why I just left that last time."

"When?" It was hard to keep his tone nonchalant, but Duo managed by biting into his own cheek and focusing on that.

"After the war; after New Year's Eve."

"Hmm? Oh, that. Don't worry about it. I haven't thought of that in a long time," he lied smoothly, getting the pleasure of seeing green eyes widen as he leaned against the door jamb. "I really am too busy to reminisce, man. Nice to see you again, though," he added before shutting the door in Trowa's face.

That hadn't been the end of it, much to his dismay. Trowa's name was brought up often in conversation with Heero or Wufei. Even Quatre would causally mention the tall green-eyed man on a regular basis. For almost eight months, Duo had tried to avoid the other man with little success. After a while he had begun to thaw in Trowa's presence enough so they could actually talk. Over the next two years they had become friends instead of acquaintances and Duo found himself looking forward to the time they spent together.

It took a long time for him to realize his feelings for Trowa hadn't gone away, but had gotten stronger than they had been before. After that discovery, he had started dating again, keeping both his personal and business life busy in order to avoid the tall man, and eventually admitting everything to Heero when his roommate had demanded an explanation for his erratic behavior. Heero had called him an ass, saying Trowa had become withdrawn while he was occupied with his own life.

Realizing he wasn't just hurting himself, Duo had made an effort to spend more time with Trowa. As a result their friendship had grown stronger, so strong Trowa remained unaffected when Duo dated. Duo's problem was that his own feelings had continued to grow and he had to continually remind himself to keep them hidden.

At least, he had until tonight, when the hurt had been too great to conceal. Fearing Trowa wouldn't be willing to talk to him anymore hurt so badly he set the notebook aside and wrapped his arms around his knees in an effort to keep the ache from spreading until it encompassed him completely. He remained in that position for a long time, watching the sun as it dipped lower and lower in the sky.

As the light began to fade, Duo heard a voice in the darkness. "You might need this. It gets chilly after dark these days."

Taking the jacket held out to him, Duo glared over his knees. "What the hell are you doing here, Heero? You're supposed to be spending time with Wufei."

Sitting on the other end of the bench, Heero shook his head. "Shut up. Do you really think I could sit there with him and act like everything was okay after you ran out?"

"It's not your problem."

"Like hell it's not," Heero said fiercely. "You were the first friend I ever had. That means it's my problem whether you like it or not." Giving Duo an intense look, he added, "Remember our promise. No secrets."

"Hell, man. I wasn't trying to keep secrets. I just feel like shit because I ruined your time with Wufei. I know you guys don't get enough time together."

"The promise, Duo. Stop trying to change the subject."

The promise Heero spoke of was one they had made after Heero moved in, both understanding how hard it was to confide in someone. It had been suggested by Duo as a joke at first, until they had both realized how difficult it was to trust someone with every part of who you were. After agreeing neither could judge the other, the vow had been sealed. It was the one reason Heero knew of Duo's past, just as he knew the secrets of Heero's training. Over the course of almost eight years, they had shared a number of tears, eventually feeling lighter because of it.

Though it still went against his nature to share his innermost feelings, Duo took a moment to figure out what he wanted to say, not willing to break a promise. "Apparently Trowa doesn't want me to worry about him, and he got mad you had told me there had been some trouble," he snorted, still aching from the way Trowa had shouted at him, something the tall man had never done before. "I'll have to start working on a way to hide how I feel better, or stop caring."

"Don't be ridiculous," Heero's tone conveyed his feelings on the matter. "I don't know what he said, but I'm sure he didn't mean to be cruel."

"I didn't say he was cruel. He wasn't. He wasn't mean or anything like that, he was just mad."

"That was enough to hurt you, wasn't it?"

Shoulders slumping at the soft question, Duo nodded. "I'm a complete idiot, you know. Who the hell waits so long in the hopes the person they actually want will show some sort of interest in them?"

"Wufei."

Turning startled eyes to Heero, Duo blinked, then burst out laughing. "At least I'm in good company, right? I doubt my resolution will be as pleasant as yours will be. You were oblivious. Trowa's not interested. There's a big difference."

"You know there's a way to find out."

"I am not confessing how I feel, so don't even go there."

"Go to the Tower on New Year's Eve, like you agreed."

"I can't go there every year, hoping it's the right one. I can't remember when we were supposed to meet," he frowned, trying to recall the date. "It could have been last year, or next year."

"It's this year, less than a month from now. The war ended AC 195."

The implications of the date set in. Sarcastically, Duo drawled, "What am I supposed to do, show up and hope he does the same?"

"Yes."

"In theory, it's a good idea, but I don't know if I want to. All he wanted was sex. Even if he showed up it wouldn't really mean anything other than he wants to sleep with me. I don't believe I could live with that, Heero. It would hurt too damn bad."

"It would be a risk," agreed the blue-eyed man. Slapping Duo's legs off the bench, he stood. "Let's go home before it gets too dark to see." Seeing Duo's hesitation, he shook his head, "I sent Wufei and Trowa home. If it makes you feel any better, Trowa looked as upset as you did."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers and warnings in first part

TEN YEARS – PART 3

In sight of the house, Duo slapped himself on the forehead and groaned, "I forgot my notebook."

"This one?" Heero handed over the item he had tucked under his arm upon leaving the park. "I knew you'd remember it eventually."

Laughing, Duo took the notebook. Wryly he noted, "This day can't get much worse. I've had to read papers that made my eyes bleed, ran into walls, got yelled at by Trowa, took off without even getting my wallet, and ruined your date with Wufei. I don't think I can handle anymore."

"Oh, hell," Heero muttered as they reached the end of their street. "I hope you can handle a little more," he said, gesturing to the expensive car parked in front of their house.

Recognizing the car, Duo growled deep in his throat, "What the hell is he doing here?"

"It's not the first time he's shown up after you turned down an invitation," Heero informed him with a shrug. "I never let him in. If you had wanted to see him you would have made time like you do for Trowa."

"You should have told me, Heero," Duo fussed, ignoring the comment about Trowa, not ready to deal with the fallout from their argument. "I think it's time to get rid of this pain in the ass once and for all," he muttered, spotting Coby at their door.

"Want me to do it?"

Duo grinned at the query, laughing when Heero dramatically flexed his hands. "I think it would be better to do this without having to find a place to hide the body. Go inside. I'll call if I need some backup."

Heero nodded, walking up the steps and into the house without acknowledging Coby's presence. Coby didn't seem to mind, turning to Duo with a full smile. "I came by to see if you were busy. We still have plenty of time to get to Jean's."

Dancing out of Coby's reach, Duo truly realized how much the pampered and spoiled man disgusted him. "I told you I was busy."

"Yet, here you are, taking walks with your so-called friend," Coby sneered disdainfully. "A man in your position should associate with a more cultured crowd, dear."

Coby had never outright admitted he didn't like Heero, though it had always been in his voice. "What's wrong with Heero?"

"Really, darling," Coby's smile oozed of superiority. "Surely you know who he was? A Gundam pilot? I'm surprised the university hasn't asked you to find another roommate by now. I'm sure they don't want to be connected to that sort of riff-raff."

Stunned the man had actually used the term 'riff-raff' in normal conversation, Duo raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "You have a problem with Gundam pilots, even after they saved the earth?"

"There's no doubt they did the world a favor, but I heard they were merely children at the time. They must have been monsters to know how to fight that young. I assume they were created in a lab or something; people really can't learn that type of fighting. They had to be bloodthirsty from birth."

"Bloodthirsty from birth," Duo muttered softly. "That's a new one." Recalling the pain and torment the five of them had suffered during and after battle, he felt his anger growing. The thought of someone as kind and innocent as Quatre had been being called bloodthirsty was almost enough to make him laugh – almost. "Not everyone is able to live a plush life like you, Coby. There are places where you learn to fight from a young age just to survive."

"You were too young to remember, but they were quite vicious. The mobile suits they piloted were horrible," the styled hair didn't move as Coby shook his head. "Those machines were so powerful. The thought of that power being in the hands of children was terrifying."

"The colonies didn't think they were so bad and I can remember it well enough, Coby. I was fifteen, five years younger than you." The burning in his gut had his arms hanging at his sides, his eyes narrowing in anger. "If it wasn't for the Gundams, you wouldn't even be here," he commented, aware the general population wasn't aware of what the original mission of the Gundams had been.

"You sound as if you actually agree with what those…hooligans…did," Coby sniffed.

"I didn't just agree with them, I was one of them."

When the other man began laughing, Duo waited, face sober. When Coby took a good look, his humor died away, replaced with an expression of shock, "You're serious?"

"Does it look like I'm joking? Those people you refer to as 'hooligans', 'monsters', and 'riff-raff' are my best friends and I would appreciate if it you would refrain from insulting us. It really pisses me off. Since I'm such a bloodthirsty killer, it wouldn't be a good idea to make me mad, would it?"

"Why wasn't I aware of this?"

Hiding a smile as Coby stepped away from him Duo realized he had discovered the perfect way to get the spoiled man to leave him alone for good. "It's a matter of public record, Coby. I guess it doesn't come up a lot in normal conversation. I do hope you keep this to yourself. You don't really want your name to be connected to people like us, do you? Someone might start to wonder about the riff-raff you associate with."

He took one step closer, smothering a grin when Coby whimpered and ran for his car, the carefully styled hair going in all directions as he gunned the engine and took off down the road. As Coby flew down the road like the hounds of hell were behind him, Duo raised his hand in a cheerful wave, snorting in amusement as the tires squealed when Coby took a turn too fast in his desire to get away from the house.

Laughing as he entered the house, he grinned at his roommate, "I don't think we have to worry about him coming around or calling anymore. Apparently, he believes the Gundam pilots were monsters."

"I'm sorry, Duo."

"Don't be," he replied with a shrug. "The only reason I dated him for so long was because I respected his father. Too bad the apple fell far from the tree in this case." Needing to make up for the interrupted date, he pushed Heero in the direction of the phone. "Call Wufei and tell him to come tomorrow and plan to stay. I'm gonna get out of the way for the night."

"Duo, are you sure? I don't want to put you out of your own house," Heero argued, though there was no heat behind it.

"It's the least I can do since I was the cause of your lost time tonight. I'll fix your dinner before I leave. It might do me some good to get away from the house for a night anyway. I can concentrate on all of those hideous papers I need to read."

Heero took the phone, studying Duo's face as he did so. "I heard your extension ring when I came in, a number of times. Since Coby was outside, I can only think of one person that would call that many times. It sounds like someone needs to talk to you."

Without comment, Duo trudged up the stairs to his own room, frowning at the blinking light on his phone. With a sigh, he pushed the button to play his messages, stunned when Trowa's call was first, his face almost desperate as he spoke, "I hope you don't just erase this without listening. I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier. What I was trying to say came out all wrong and I need to explain. Please call me when you get this."

Although he was still hurting from the angry words Trowa had used, Duo was unable to stay angry in light of such obvious sincerity. Shaking his head, he sat on the bed to remove his shoes, which dropped from numb fingers when the next message began to play. "It's been an hour since I called, and I wanted to know if you were home yet. Either you aren't or you're not taking my calls. Please call me back, Duo."

Duo could only stare as two more messages played, both with Trowa pleading Duo to call. Bewildered why the tall man was so upset, he finished undressing and reached to dial the familiar number, jumping slightly when the phone began to ring as he touched it. Relatively certain it wasn't Coby, he flipped on the screen, stunned by the way the man on the screen looked. "Trowa?" he asked, wondering why his friend's eyes were red.

"Oh God, Duo, you answered. I was afraid you weren't going to speak to me ever again."

"We got back a little while ago and Coby was outside. It took me a few minutes to get rid of him," he explained carefully.

"Coby? Oh, yeah. The guy you've been seeing."

"For the last few weeks he's been the guy I've been avoiding. I don't think I need to worry about him anymore. He won't be back."

Hoping they had put the episode behind them, Duo leaned over on his bed, propping his head on one hand as he maneuvered the screen so he could still see the other man as he talked. "Apparently he didn't approve of my friends."

"I thought you really liked him."

The strange tone in Trowa's voice had Duo looking closer at his friend, who turned his head at the scrutiny. "He was okay for a while, but we don't have anything in common. We both like music, but he likes the new expressionistic crap and I prefer the older stuff. He likes regimented sports and I'd rather play basketball. They seem like little things but when those little things add up with all the big ones, he was a pain in the ass."

"I didn't realize you were so different."

Glad to be on speaking terms with Trowa, Duo put aside the reminder of his hurt feelings. "I thought we had some things in common at first. His dad was great. I guess I hoped Coby was like his father, but they were as different as night and day."

"Oh." Trowa seemed unsure of what to say. After clearing his throat, he asked, "If you didn't like him why stay with him for so long? Was he that great in bed?"

"Wouldn't know, never slept with him," Duo replied absently, more focused on the first question than the last. "I guess I stayed with him because I hoped deep inside the spoiled man there was someone I could like. There wasn't." Rolling to his stomach, Duo played with the end of his braid, "That's enough about Coby the Boring. I really don't want to talk about him."

When Trowa spoke, Duo groaned at the words, "I'm sorry for what I said. It didn't come out the right way."

"No worrying allowed. Got it? Can we move on now?" Duo continued to speak, not giving Trowa a chance to discuss what had happened. "Poor Heero and Wufei, the first time they get to see each other in weeks and you and I have a …disagreement. To make it up to them I'm going to fix them dinner tomorrow, then let them have the house to themselves."

"I'm sure they'll enjoy having the house to themselves for a few hours."

"They have the house for the night," he corrected, smiling when Trowa gaped.

"It's a nice gesture, but where do you plan to stay? Quatre's?"

"Nah, blondie's out of town for a few days," Duo recalled Heero telling him that today – or yesterday. "I'm just gonna stay in a hotel for the night. It'll give me a chance to finish grading some papers."

"You could always stay with me," offered Trowa.

Duo's first reaction was to refuse, but he found himself nodding in agreement. "I'll still have to get some work done."

"I'll provide dinner and give you all the time you need to do your work."

"I should be able to be there about five or so. Let me write this down so I don't forget," he muttered, rising to his knees without thinking about his unclothed state. The sharp intake of breath got his attention and he sat back down with a piece of paper and pen in his hands. "You okay?"

"Duo, you…you aren't…you have no clothes on."

Looking down at his naked body, he smiled sheepishly, "I was getting ready for bed. Sorry." He shrugged as he shifted again, this time to pick up his glasses.

"You sleep naked?"

"Usually," he replied absently, writing a list of things he needed to do the next day and times he needed to remember. "I like the way the sheets feel against my skin. I'll wear shorts while I'm over there, okay?"

"That's not necessary," Trowa replied quickly, though his face was flushed. "Do whatever you feel most comfortable with."

It was on the tip of his tongue to inform the other man he would be most comfortable in Trowa's bed, but he bit down on the urge. After another few minutes of conversation and confirming their plans one last time Duo replaced the receiver, feeling better than he had since Trowa had shouted at him. Sticking the note to the mirror where he wouldn't miss it, right beside his glasses, he climbed into the waiting sheets with a sigh, still baffled why Trowa had sounded so odd.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers and warnings in first part.

TEN YEARS – PART 4

Yawning widely, Duo knocked on Trowa's apartment door with one hand, grasping a duffel bag with the other. Blinking his eyes, he shook his head in an attempt to dispel some of the weariness that had badgered him all day. He was yawning again when Trowa opened the door, dressed casually in jeans and a tank top. Duo blamed the urge to lick his lips on lack of sleep when he discovered Trowa's feet were bare on the fake hardwood floor.

"Right on time," Trowa smiled, stepping aside so Duo could enter and shutting the door behind him. "The food will be here in a few minutes."

Moving to the small living room that had become familiar as his own house over the years, Duo dropped his bag to the floor and sat on the couch he had gone with Trowa to pick out. "You look good," he observed softly, blushing as he removed his shoes out of habit.

Instead of being insulted, Trowa smiled crookedly, "So do you, but you also look tired."

"Had some trouble sleeping last night, that's all."

"Want to talk about it?"

There wasn't a force in heaven or hell strong enough to make him admit thoughts of Trowa had kept him up most of the night. "Not really."

"You already talked to Heero."

Clearly hearing the anger and the hurt in Trowa's tone, Duo tilted his head. "I didn't need to talk to Heero. I already knew what kept me awake." Pulling his legs under his body, he met Trowa's eyes, willing the other man to understand. "I don't tell Heero everything."

"It seems like it."

"When Heero moved in we both had a lot of baggage. We made a promise not to keep secrets from each other. If we hadn't, the things we kept buried would have eaten us from the inside out. I know I can talk to him about whatever's bothering me and he knows he can do the same."

"So you talk about the things you think are important?"

"That sums it up pretty well. I'm not going to tell him I have a tangle in my hair or some shit like that."

"He thought you needed to know Wufei and I had some trouble?" Trowa's eyes were intense, searching Duo's face as he waited for a reply.

Realizing they were going to discuss the previous evening, Duo sighed heavily, "Listen, I'm sorry I worried about you. I didn't know it bothered you so much. I doubt I can stop worrying about you, or Wufei for that matter, but I'll do my best not to show it again."

"You hide a lot of your feelings, don't you?"

The abrupt question caught Duo off guard as Trowa came to sit beside him. "I don't know what you mean."

"I don't mind if you worry about me, Duo. It's kind of nice, actually," Trowa changed the subject, making Duo even more anxious about what the other man knew. "It just bothers me that Heero told you. It's none of his business since we were both fine. I don't see how he thought you needed to know."

"Heero's in love with your partner; that makes it his business."

"That is Heero's business," Trowa stated firmly. "Telling you was not. We were safe. You didn't need to worry. I don't want you to worry; not if there's no reason for it."

"So you want me to worry, but only on your terms. You don't mind if I talk to Heero as long as it doesn't concern you." Taking his shoes, Duo stood as the doorbell rang. "Just so you know, your wishes are duly noted and you can go to hell."

"What are you doing?" Trowa demanded when Duo grasped the doorknob.

"What I should have done in the first place. I'm going to a hotel." Yanking the door open he glared at the delivery boy hard enough to have him stepping back. "It's his food," he jerked a thumb at Trowa, walking away as he heard Trowa's panicked voice.

He barely made it to the stairwell before Trowa caught up with him. "Please come back, Duo. We need to talk."

"I don't have a reason to stay."

Trowa cursed softly, placing his hand on Duo's arm only to have it jerked away. "Come back and at least eat dinner. I won't bring up Heero again, okay? After eating you can still leave if you want to."

They made it through the evening, but it was strained. Duo hadn't felt uncomfortable with Trowa in years and the stress he felt the next day from his night with Trowa had him snapping at the slightest thing. It was a blessing when his students left for the holiday break, giving him some much needed personal time to deal with the tension he was feeling.

After locking up his classroom, he made his way out of the building and began the long walk home. When the wind blew through his thin coat, he shivered, pulling it closer. "You should pay more attention to the weather, Maxwell," teased Wufei, coming to walk beside him seemingly out of nowhere.

"You followin' me, Chang?"

Wufei smiled, something he wouldn't have done several years before, believing he had to compete with Duo for Heero's affection. "I'm not following you, but our meeting isn't a coincidence. I wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

Seeing Wufei duck his head and blush, Duo snickered. After walking a full block the other man raised his head, but kept his gaze straight forward. "I don't think I ever told you how much I appreciated your…encouragement regarding Heero. If it hadn't been for you, I doubt I ever would have gotten the nerve to finally tell him how I felt. When he first moved in with you, I was worried I had lost my chance with him forever."

"Heero's my best friend, Wufei. He's never been more than that."

"I know that and have known that since you told me to get my head out of my ass."

Laughing at the choice of words, Duo shook his head, "I never said that to you, man. I enjoy breathing waaay too much."

"It amounted to the same thing. I wanted to thank you not just for pushing me to take that risk, but in your continued support of our relationship. I…enjoyed having some time alone with Heero last night. It meant a lot to me and to Heero, to have the opportunity."

At a spur of the moment decision, the long-haired man shrugged away the gratitude. "Then you should enjoy having the house to yourselves for Christmas."

Wufei's smile of pleasure turned to a frown of confusion, "I didn't know you were planning to leave. Don't you and Heero have a tradition you carry on every year?"

Smiling as he recalled the years spent decorating the house the week before Christmas, Duo hid his sorrow he would miss the ritual. "You can use it to practice for when you two get your own place," he spoke, concealing his true feelings. Seeing Wufei's worry he added, "Howard's been after me to spend some time with him and with a few weeks free I thought I'd take the trip out."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Wufei fell silent for a moment. When they turned onto the road Duo's house was on Wufei finally spoke, his voice strange. "I'm sorry things have not been going well between you and Trowa. Were you able to come to an understanding yesterday?"

The laugh Duo forced came out sounding suspiciously like a sob. "I don't think there's any point trying to come to an understanding, Wufei. Apparently, he's not the person I thought he was. I believed we shared some things in common, but I was wrong. I don't think there's any point in trying to remain friends anymore," he said softly, wondering if it was possible for a person's heart to break more than once in a single lifetime.

"I think there is more to it than you know. You should take the time to talk to him before you leave, Duo. He wouldn't want you to go like this." Wufei stopped, putting a hand on Duo's shoulder, forcing the smaller man to meet the concerned dark eyes. "He hides things almost as well as you do yourself, Duo. You have both hid from each other for too long."

Looking at the other man, Duo saw the truth he had hidden reflected back at him in the dark depths. "Damnit, how long have you known? Did Heero say something?"

"You know better than that," Wufei admonished, releasing Duo so they could begin walking again. "I have wondered why you never pursued Heero. You know you could have and I wouldn't have had a chance if you had."

"Honestly, Wufei. I was never interested in him."

"You never…during the war?" Wufei blushed before giving a chuckle at Duo's pained expression. "I'm assuming you didn't suddenly realize you were gay after the war and you spent a lot of time together. It's a valid question."

"One you never bothered to ask Heero," mused Duo, eyes turning to the ground. "To be honest, it never came up. I don't know what would have happened if it had. I know it wouldn't have lasted. There wouldn't have been more than…sex," he finished awkwardly.

It was surprising to hear a rueful chuckle from Wufei. After a moment where Duo stared solidly at his own moving feet, he glanced up as his friend spoke, "You couldn't have feelings for Heero, could you? Not when you were already committed to someone else? Even if you didn't realize you were committed to someone else?"

"Well hell, Wufei, why don't you figure out all my secrets?" He dared a glance at the other man, "I guess it was like that even if I didn't figure it out until way too late to do anything about it. By the time I finally managed to get my shit straight, it didn't matter anymore."

"You really think it doesn't matter?"

Reaching his own house, Duo stopped and stuck his hands into his pockets. Looking at the road, he was brutally honest with his friend. "I'm guessing you know who I seem to be stuck on?"

"Trowa. You were hurt night before last. That's when I figured out how you felt. No one other than the person you love would be able to wound you so deeply." Wufei took a deep breath, but made no move to go up to the door, seemingly content to remain on the sidewalk with Duo, though they both knew Heero was inside. "I think you're giving up and I don't think you should."

"I thought you were insane when you waited seven years to get Heero to take you seriously, Wufei. I've been waiting and hoping for almost ten. I can't keep acting like nothing has changed, I can't keep acting like I feel nothing. It's killing me inside."

Although Wufei seemed surprised by the sudden admission, he urged Duo, "Please speak to Trowa before you leave. When were you planning to depart?"

"Actually, I'm leaving tonight. I just have to confirm my flight arrangements." He had to make them first, but he would be confirming afterward.

"Duo, are you certain about this?" By the look on Wufei's face, he wasn't fooled at all.

"Yeah, I am. Look, some time away may be just what I need to decide what I'm going to do next. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder and all that jazz. Who knows, Trowa might even call me to talk," he suggested with a laugh he didn't feel.

Leaving Wufei to tell Heero of his change in plans, Duo quickly ascended the stairs, closing his door to make a phone call. When Howard appeared on the screen Duo wondered if the bright shirts were what caused his eyes to go bad in the first place. "Hey, old man, what'cha up to?" he asked, not having to fake his pleasure at seeing the man that had taken him in without question.

"Same as usual, kid. Making a livin and wonderin' when you're gonna get your scrawny ass up here to see me."

"Actually, I was hoping that invitation for Christmas was still open."

Pushing the mirrored glasses up on his forehead, Howard peered at Duo with small eyes, critically evaluating his surrogate son. "You know you don't have to ask, Duo. You're always welcome. The other boys will be happy to see you, too," he added, speaking of his crew, male and female alike. To Howard, they were all his boys.

"It means a lot to hear that. I'll be heading out your way later tonight."

"Need a ride from port?"

"Nah," Duo smiled at how easy it was to return to the Sweeper ship that had been his home during his initial training, as well as occasional times in the years after the war. "I'll get my own transpo. You just get my room ready for me."

"It's already ready, kid."

After a few more minutes of small talk Duo signed off. He packed his bag with things he could use over and over and would take the strain of being washed in the industrial washers on the Sweeper ship. He had just finished getting his bag together and made arrangements to ride with a different salvage crew to where Howard's ship was docked when Heero knocked on the door.

Knowing Wufei had already told his roommate of his intentions, he opened the door, stunned when Heero nearly choked him to death by hugging him fiercely. "Heero man, let go. I can't breathe," he rasped, wheezing once he was released. "What the hell?"

"I'm going to miss you. When do you plan to come back?"

Thrown off by the startling show of affection from a man that was still mostly reserved, Duo shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't know. Classes don't start again until after the beginning of the year, so I might stay until after New Year."

"You'll miss New Year's Eve if you do that," Heero studied him. "Are you sure?"

"Right now I'm not really sure of anything except I hurt, Heero. I'm so tired of hurting," he admitted, sitting on the side of his bed carefully, almost certain he was going to fall apart pretty soon. He didn't have the words to describe how painful it was to even think about Trowa no longer being part of his life.

Heero came to sit beside him, putting one arm around his shoulders. "No matter what happens between you and Trowa, I'll always be here for you, even if I don't live here."

With tears in his eyes, Duo nodded and stood, retrieving his bag from where it sat on the floor beside the door. He was already walking down the stairs when the other man came running. "I don't think you're going to get very far without these," Heero forced a smile as he jangled Duo's keys. "I found them in the fridge this morning after you left."

All of the emotions he had hemmed in threatened to break the tether he had around them. Taking the keys as if they were made of spun glass, he tucked them in his pocket and threw his arms around Heero, holding on tightly for several seconds before letting go and running for the door, pondering briefly why he seemed to feel the need to flee from a house he owned so often lately.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers and warnings in first part

TEN YEARS – PART 5

"Kid, how's it goin' down there?"

Duo rolled out from under the skiff he was repairing, making sure his braid was far from the wheels of the creeper. Sitting up, he wiped his hands on a greasy rag that had been stuck in his pocket for the last two weeks. By now, he had no doubts it would take at least two more weeks to get the grease completely off his hands, as it had been ground down under his fingernails and into the swirls of his fingerprints. "I'm telling you it would be better off to use this thing for extra parts. You sure you want me to fix it?"

"Don't talk so loud, she'll hear you," Howard crouched down, patting the side of the grey hull affectionately. "She's the first one I ever owned on my own. Can you get her going again?"

"Who's the best mechanic this side of L3?" Duo grinned. "I'll get her going, but I can't guarantee how far she'll get before falling apart. She's held together by space dust, Howard."

"You just get her running and my boys'll work on her body. We'll have her beautiful before I take her out again."

Rolling his eyes, Duo drawled, "Want me to leave you two alone?"

"Smart-ass," was Howard's retort, though he was smiling.

"If you're done sweet-talking, I'm gonna work some more unless you had a reason for coming down here." It was possible, but doubtful; Howard had come to this area of the garage for something else. The only things stored in that section were considered useless…other than the shuttle.

"Time to eat. Clean up and come on."

"Not hungry," Duo shrugged, lying back down to roll the creeper back under the shuttle. His progress was halted when Howard stuck a sneakered foot in front of one of the wheels. Sitting back up, Duo glared at the older man, who seemed unaffected by the cold stare.

"Not this time, kid. You ain't eaten in twenty-four hours."

One look at the stubborn set of Howard's chin and Duo knew it was pointless to argue. Though the older man was normally laid-back and easy going, once he got that expression there was no budging him. "All right, all right," Duo muttered as he stood. For a moment he stretched to get his muscles working again, a sure sign he had been cramped under the small space too long. "I'll go to mess as soon as I change," he hedged with no intention of going to the mess hall.

"You're eating with me so you don't have to change. We'll get you washed up in my cabin."

Plodding along beside the other man, Duo tried to think of a way to postpone the discussion he knew they were going to have. Howard had always been supportive of privacy; working on a Sweeper barge could drive you insane otherwise, but when Duo had a problem it was always ferreted out eventually. As he sat down to the food Howard placed on the tiny table, he gave up fighting the battle and waited for the inevitable questions he knew were to come.

"So what happened?" Howard asked once they were both eating.

"I have to have a reason to come see you?"

Howard gave him a knowing expression, "You come to see me two or three times a year for a weekend when you can get away. I know how busy you are, kid. For you to pop up out of the blue and want to stay for an unspecified amount of time…something bad had to happen."

Duo shrugged and kept eating. Howard was the closest thing he had to a father and he knew he could talk to the older man about anything, but it felt strange to speak of the problems he was having. "I needed to get away for a while to think."

"Does this have anything to do with Wufei and Heero, or is it Trowa? This the reason I've been playing secretary for you and taking all sorts of messages?"

"Why didn't you toss Quatre in there for good measure?"

"'Cause last I heard he didn't live with you and was perfectly happy with that guy that's been living with him. I also know you were happy for him when they got together."

Duo smiled, "Abdul's good for Quatre, but it shocked the hell out of them at first." Seeing eyes on him, not concealed with the normal mirrored sunglasses Howard wore everywhere, he sighed, "Wufei and Heero are looking for a place of their own."

"That bother you?"

"Nah. I knew they would eventually, and it took longer than I thought for them to get to this point. I bet Wufei brought it up before, but Heero worries I can't take care of myself and he can be stubborn."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Howard commented with a snort. "If it's not them or Quatre, it has to be Trowa. Tell me what happened."

"Why does it matter?"

"I have to know if I should have him taken out or just beaten. I've never known you to hide from someone, so it must have been really bad."

"I'm not hiding," insisted Duo, without heat.

"I've already taken over a dozen messages from one Trowa Barton, who sounded like he was in a total panic the first time I said you were busy and looked like he was gonna cry the last time I told him you were busy. Don't give me any bullshit, kid. You're hiding and you damn well know it."

Long minutes passed in complete silence. Abruptly Howard got up and removed their half-empty plates, coming back to the table with two shot glasses and two bottles of liquor – one of whiskey, one of vodka. Starting with the clear liquid, shots were poured and downed in silence. They were already half-way through the first bottle before the long, sordid tale came out, starting with the promise ten years ago and working their way through all the years between, ending with Trowa's strange behavior over the last few weeks.

Wanting to toss his arms in the air but finding them laden, Duo slumped in the chair, giggling when he almost fell off of it. "That's everything. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid like shoot him. Or worse yet, tell him how I felt."

Refilling the glasses, Howard snorted, "Why don't you just tell him? Seems to me that would be better than torturing yourself with 'what if'?"

Already well on his way to drunk, Duo squinted his eyes and carefully reached for his glass, tipping it back quickly. He didn't cough this time as he had before, most of his body already numb. "What good would it do, Howie? Having my thoughts and feelings shoved back in my face isn't my idea of a good time."

"Then you'd know if you should move on."

Narrowing his eyes, Duo focused on Howard. "Dude, I'm working on a really good, decent drunk – the first I've had in a number of years, mind you. Don't fuck it up by making sense. It's no fun."

Howard chuckled as he held up the bottle of vodka, "If you plan on getting really drunk you better start drinking faster if you want to catch up with me. I drink a lot faster than you these days. It kind of makes me start to wonder which one of us is the old man."

The challenge was more than his drunken brain could fight against; it just wasn't in his nature to turn down a dare. Slapping his glass on the table, he gave Howard a wicked grin, "Fill 'er up, old man. We'll see which of us can still walk to bed."

It felt like hours later when Duo weaved his way toward the cabins at the top deck of the ship, rooms reserved for special guests. He snorted at the thought, wondering why his room had always been up there if they were for special people, but the absent thought disappeared when the floor lurched under his feet, sending him careening into the wall. "Som'body oughta learn a'fly this damn thing," he muttered, giggling madly when he realized he was the one lurching; not the ship.

It took several tries for him to find his room, one attempt had him stumbling into someone else's room and surprising the two crew members that had chosen to spend the night together. Snickering insanely, he waved a hand at them and followed their shouted directions, yelling his thanks down the corridor when he finally opened the right door.

Vaguely remembering to shut the door, he did so and leaned heavily on it, closing one eye to make the room stop spinning long enough for him to cross it. He sat with a plop, laughing when he missed the bed completely and ended up in the floor, the laugh turning to a curse when the on-board communicator landed on his head.

He stared at it for a moment before looking up to the ceiling, as if it had landed on him for a reason. Figuring someone was trying to tell him something, he glared at nothing, then at the computer. "Why th' hell not?"

Minutes passed as he tried to make his fingers push the buttons he wanted. It took several minutes for the call to connect after that. Since it was taking so long, he decided to lay down for just a second, yanking his shirt off before getting off the floor then falling to the bed in a fit of giggles. Forgetting about the call completely, he worked his shoes and pants off and let them drift to the floor.

He was just on the verge of passing out when an irritated voice came from the speaker. "Hello? Who is this?"

With an effort, he sat up and grinned at the man glaring on screen, wiggling his fingers in a wave. "Heya, Tro. Whatca' doin?"

"I was sleeping." Trowa's face lost the frown as he stared. "What's wrong with you? Are you hurt?"

"Nope. M'drunk," informed Duo cheerfully. "Had coupla drinks with Howie, then a coupla more. He dared me, but I won damnit. Showed him." Frowning, he pointed at the other man, willing to lay blame for the situation. "S'your fault."

"It's my fault you're drunk," Trowa stated, wearing another frown.

"Yup. Thought 'bout sleepin' with somebody, too," he nodded, then shook his head so hard he almost fell off the bed again. "Couldn't do it."

"You couldn't find someone to sleep with?"

Duo snickered at Trowa's confusion. "Tha's not a problem 'round here. Always someone willin'. I think I might'a got invited a few minutes ago, but I'm not sure. Couldn't do it. You're fault," he stabbed a finger at the screen. "Got me so screwed I can't think. You're an ass."

Trowa smiled, although he still seemed baffled. "Perhaps you should sleep, Duo. Do you know when you're coming home?"

Scratching his head, Duo realized he couldn't feel his fingers. Staring at them, he shrugged, "Might not. Haven't 'cided."

"You might not come back home?" Trowa's prior amusement was gone. The odd tone had Duo blinking at the screen. "You work here, Duo. Your home is here."

"You're there. Makes it worse." Losing his grasp on the conversation again, he frowned, "Why're you an ass to me?"

"You need to go to sleep, Duo. If you remember any of this conversation tomorrow, I need you to come home."

"Yeah, sure," Duo rolled his eyes, forcing himself upright when he began to tilt. "Gonna pass out now. Night, Tro."

He managed to poke the button to disconnect the call, cutting Trowa off in mid-sentence. Giving up the battle against sleep, he fell over on his side and began snoring.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers and warnings in first part.

TEN YEARS – PART 6

"Hey, Duo. What's up?" one of the sweepers in the bay shouted loudly, laughing when he grabbed his aching head in response. Not even the sound of mirth could make him stop trudging his way through the scattered remains of old ships and skiffs that were in need of repair or recycling. Instead of turning around to face them, he lifted his middle finger in a salute, sending the group into a fresh round of laughter at his misery. Moving like an old man, he gathered his tools, stripping off his shirt in concession to the sweltering heat, then slid under the old shuttle.

His work was slow, but steady, the ache in his head eventually easing. His mood improved as he continued to repair the ship Howard seemed to have such fond memories of. He was checking the connection to the boosters when he heard a voice near his feet, easily recognizing it from years of knowledge.

Rolling the creeper out, he grinned up at the man, happy to see Howard looked much worse than he felt. "How ya holdin' up, old man?"

"Shut up, you little smart-ass. I was happy to hear you were suffering this morning, but apparently somebody was lying." Howard leaned against the hull of the ship, rubbing his head wearily. "I can't believe you made it back to your room last night."

Recalling snippets of his journey through the large ship, Duo chuckled, "I may have interrupted a few things, but I eventually managed to make it back in one piece. I even made a phone call after I got to my room."

Tipping his glasses down on his nose, Howard studied him with narrowed eyes before pushing them back up. "When ya leavin'?"

Not surprised the older man would be able to read his decision in his eyes, Duo grinned, feeling happy for the first time in a long while. "I've got enough time to get this bucket running again for ya, Howard. You know I couldn't just let you try to fix it on your own."

Taking a deep breath, Duo stepped onto the elevator, crammed inside with people going to the top of Peace Tower to celebrate the New Year. Getting out, he moved away from the thick crowds, easily locating the stairs and going to the level below. It was a pleasure to find the entire floor deserted, the large windows that stared across the city void of gawkers. He hadn't been inside the tower in ten years and though he still didn't understand how it was supposed to represent peace, he had to admit it was a modern wonder.

With at least an hour to spare, he wandered around the floor, looking out the glass to the city lights beyond, wishing that one window had been left out so he could feel the wind across his face. It hadn't been anticipation that had him coming straight here from the shuttle port, but a need to be alone. In a short time, his life would change, no matter what happened. He wanted some time to come to terms with the different options and make sure he was prepared for any likelihood.

Fifteen minutes passed when he was approached by a man in a security uniform. "Sir, you aren't supposed to be on this level tonight. The celebration is confined to the top floor. I'll have to ask you to leave."

Understanding, Duo smiled, "Can I have a few more minutes? The last time I was here was before the place was even finished."

The guard frowned, moving closer. Eyes framed in a weathered face warmed, "You're Duo Maxwell, one of the Gundam five. I'd recognize you anywhere."

"Is that good or bad?"

"You boys did a good job back then, and then you did a great job of helping my boy in your class. He was shocked when I told him what you were before becoming a teacher. I think you were the only reason he managed to pass. He always hated learning history before getting in your class." The man shook Duo's hand so hard his teeth threatened to rattle. "You stay here as long as you want. Any of the Gundam pilots have permission to be here anytime."

"Are you sure? I don't want to get you in trouble."

The man laughed heartily, "What're they gonna do? Fire me for letting in a Gundam pilot? I don't think so. You take your time and have a good new year."

Duo let his smile fade as the guard left him alone, wondering if his new year would be a good one or not. Strengthening the resolve to accept whatever happened, he let himself lean against the glass and look out, just as fascinated by the view as he had been as a teenager. Already knowing he could be spending the rest of the night alone, he made himself comfortable, prepared for a long wait.

Not even five minutes had passed when he heard a small noise behind him. He forced himself not to tense, not moving as soft footsteps neared, carrying the scent of the man he wondered if he could live without, and knowing he might have to no matter what he wanted. Determined to have at least one night where he could fully belong to the man he yearned for, he took a deep breath.

The air stuck in his lungs when arms came around him from behind, trapping him between a hard body and the glass. "You came," Trowa's words were a whisper of breath against his ear, making him shudder. "I didn't think you would come."

"We made a deal remember? If I regretted not sleeping with you that night and believed I knew you well enough, I'd be here."

"Did you regret it?"

Choosing to tell the truth, he stared at the sparkling lights, "Sometimes I did others I didn't."

Trowa was silent for a moment, "Do you know me well enough?"

Turning his head, he was able to meet the green eyes watching him. "I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure."

"Then why did you come?"

"I had to."

When he was abruptly released, Duo turned and watched as Trowa backed away, green eyes guarded. "You had to?" the tall man glanced around dramatically. "I don't see anyone forcing you to be here, Duo."

"I had to come for me," Duo explained, baffled by the other man's anger. "I had to know if you would come."

"That's the only reason you came? To see if I would show up?"

Wishing for courage to look Trowa in the eye, Duo sent his eyes back to the window. "I had to know if you felt anything for me, even if it was only lust. I think I can live with one night between us, if that's what you want."

"Christ, Duo. Is that what you think of me? I never wanted a one-night stand, not ten years ago and not now."

"Then why did you leave without even saying goodbye?" Duo demanded when ten years' worth of pain and anger rose to the surface.

"I was afraid I wouldn't be able to leave if I had talked to you. One word from you and I would've stayed."

With a small smile, Duo tilted his head and regarded the other man, "One word from you and I would have left with you. Watching you leave was one of the most painful things I've lived through."

Trowa took a hesitant step forward, "You said you never thought of me after I left that day."

"I lied. I'm pretty good at it now; I've had plenty of practice."

The honesty had Trowa laughing briefly. With a shake of his head he came closer, his head lowered toward Duo. "When you asked if it bothered me that you dated all of those guys, I said it didn't. I lied. I wanted to kill every one of them. The thought of you being held by them, touched by them and not me destroyed me every time you went out."

The admission prompted another one from Duo. "I only slept with two of them, Trowa. One before you came back and the other right after you showed up. I slept with each of them once."

"Why not more? Why not sleep with any of the others since then? Why didn't you sleep with whoever offered a night with them while you were with the Sweepers?"

Blushing deeply, Duo ducked his head, "They weren't you. After that night," he faltered, searching for the words he needed. "After that kiss nothing was the same anymore. It was like you opened something inside me I didn't understand; then left without giving me time to figure anything out."

"When did you decide you were going to come tonight?"

Angling his body closer to Trowa's, he tilted his face up. "I guess I've known for a long time what I would do, but I didn't admit it until the night after I got drunk with Howard."

Apparently the answer satisfied Trowa, who grew silent. Needing to know, Duo gave voice to the question that had been plaguing him for weeks. "Why didn't you want me to worry about you? Why did you get so angry with me?"

"I wasn't mad at you, Duo. I was mad at myself. Every time you said you worried I would get my hopes up that you cared for me as more than a friend; then I would try to back away. The only way I knew to step back was by making you mad. It didn't work, because instead of you being mad, I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. It almost killed me when I found out you had left and wouldn't take my calls."

"I couldn't talk to you until I decided if being your friend was worth the pain I went through every time I saw you. I needed to make that choice before I spoke to you again."

"I almost didn't come tonight."

Duo's hands clenched at his sides, his heart aching. "Just here for amusement, man? Wanted to see if I was stupid enough to show after all the shit you've given me in the last month or so?"

"It was painful to think about going on the way we have been, Duo. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know if you would be here or not." Trowa smiled as he reached out to touch Duo's arm lightly, as if afraid to do more. "I guess you could say I had to come, too. I had to know if there was a chance for us to be more than friends."

Tiring of a conversation that seemed to be running in circles without making anything clear, Duo slanted his eyes at Trowa, "So what do we do now? Go home and have sex?" He grinned when the tall man visibly jerked to stare at him with wide eyes.

"It's a start, but I don't plan on going anywhere after one night, Duo. That's not enough for me."

"Not for me either. I might have need of a roommate pretty soon, but you'll have to help me keep up with my stuff. I've been told I'm forgetful."

"I have a very organized mind," retorted Trowa, lowering his head.

Duo lifted his head, his mouth curving in a smile when he heard voices above them united in a countdown. "Should we make another deal? If we're still interested in a year, we can -" his words were cut off as Trowa's mouth covered his.

This time there were no reservations as he wound his arms around Trowa, letting the taller man control the kiss. Feeling a hand work under his shirt, he gasped, trembling as strong fingers stroked the sensitive skin of his lower back. Realizing Trowa's other hand was quickly working on the button of his pants, he pulled his head away, "Trowa, there's a security guard…"

"I saw him and told him we needed some time alone then locked the doors to this level. No one's getting in until I unlock them." Green eyes searched Duo's face as cheers went up from the top level, signaling the end of one year and the beginning of the next. "If you want to wait until we get home, I don't mind. It's whatever you want; as long as you know I won't be leaving you again."

Shaking his head, Duo pulled Trowa to the floor. "I can't think of a better way to celebrate a new year, can you?"

END


End file.
